Most of my life from age 12 - 34 I always felt like there was something wrong with me. When I was 12 years old I was held down and jumped by my best friend and 6 other people. I was verbally abused everyday being called an idiot in my home and at school. I was put into reading disabled classes in high school. I was put into therapy when I was really young because according to my parents there was something wrong with me and the way I was acting. I wasn't allowed to go to my own high school graduation because I cut too many classes to go hang out and smoke weed. In college a so called friend got me arrested, kicked out of school and thrown in jail for selling drugs so I was then labeled as a drug dealer. In the corporate world bosses would always tell me how slow I was and what I was doing wrong. I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with all kinds of labels like depression, social anxiety, ADD. All I heard whether they said these words or not was "There is something wrong with you".
All these messages I heard as a kid and as an adult over and over for 20+ years of my life made me think there was something really wrong with me. It was also the hurtful messages that I was telling myself that was extremely damaging.
This thinking created the reality that I DID NOT want. It distracted me from getting work done. It distracted me from achieving goals. It took me down this negative thinking spiral to nowhere. All I was thinking was what other people were thinking about me. No fucking wonder I couldn't achieve much with my life.
While doing a 30 day self compassion retreat I recorded the thought "what do people think of me? do they think I'm stupid?" I challenged that thought by saying "Says who?, the stupid thought in my head? , The voice of discouragement?, the voice I have been listening to my whole life that has been keeping me stuck?" This was really powerful for me when I realized it was just a thought that has been so deeply engraved In my mind from childhood that I believed it. Then I realized I don't have to believe it anymore. That voice is NOT ME. I can treat it with love and compassion when it pops up but then I can choose to believe another empowering voice.
One way I've found effective to stop caring what other people think about me is to take the focus off of myself, find ways to help others as much as I can, write about what i'm grateful for, exercise to strengthen my mind , focus on things that light me up! The more I focus my attention on the positive things the less I'm worried about all the negative. Distract your attention with everything that's amazing in the world. It's not easy but you have to at least take the first step if you ever want to break free from being a prisoner in your own mind. This in my own personal experience has been a path to experience life in whole new positive way.
The mind and how it interprets things can either make us or break us.
"If you can take it, you can make it" - Movie Unbroken
"Thoughts become things" - Mike Dooley
"You are what you think about all day long" - Robert H. Schuller
“The mind is a powerful force. It can enslave us or empower us. It can plunge us into the depths of misery or take us to the heights of ecstasy. Learn to use the power wisely.” - David Cuschieri
Countless books have been written about this.
It's our job to pay attention to what voice we are listening to. Is it the voice of discouragement? or the voice of empowerment? Now that you are aware, which one do you choose to keep listening to?
See this powerful video below related to my post
Rich is a life and business coach for people that have a deep desire to thrive. He helps clients all over the world get paid to do work they love by starting and growing purpose driven businesses that unleash their full potential. Get in touch here